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Satire

Tagalong… In Prison

MVHS Staff -
     We all know about the delicious cookies that we get once a year. I hate to tell everyone, but eating these pieces...
Satire

SaddleCrack School District switching to AI Teachers

Aubrey Bertino -
The 21st century is starting to look more and more like a science fiction film everyday, and our school is no exception to these...
Satire

Mr. Fukuda: A Science Teacher With Secrets in His Coffin?

MVHS Staff -
 A group of bats has been spotted not one, but multiple times, circling around Fukuda’s door when dusk hits. For many years, the suspicions...
Satire

This Year’s Prom Revealed to be Held At Family Restaurant Chuck E Cheese

Sophie Mclean -
      It has been revealed that prom will be held at Chuck E Cheese, a place fun for the whole family and...
Satire

Titanic II: The Best Movie To Come Out of the Twenty-First Century

Sophie Mclean -
     Moving. Attention-Grasping. Astonishing. These words alone show the magnificence of  the revolutionary Titanic mockbuster Titanic II, where the stakes are raised to the extreme...
Satire

OUR LAST ISSUE

MVHS Staff -
     Today, April 2nd, marks an inconsolable day for Mission Viejo High School; our stronghold of a newspaper, The Diablo Dispatch, a publication that’s existed...
Satire

April Fools! A Pablo Story

Sarah Green -
Satire

Mr. Zides Mistaken for Chinese Spy Balloon

MVHS Staff -
     Mission Viejo High School’s very own assistant principal, Michael Zides, was shot down last weekend after being mistaken as a spy balloon. Yes, everybody's...
Satire

Dinosaur Fossil Find Shuts Down MVHS Campus

MVHS Staff -
Mission Viejo High School will be closing for a year due to the recently discovered dinosaur bones at the farm. ...
Opinion

English is Not Red

MVHS Staff -
  To everyone who says that English is the color red… you are wrong. How can English possibly be red when it is clearly green?...
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Latest

As Concert Ticket Prices Increase, Frustration Does Too

Concert ticket prices have gone through the roof in the past few years. This isn't just inflation's fault, but the ticketing websites, show companies,...

Living in the Present: A Thing of the Past

       I’m a senior. It’s an odd thing for me to say, an even stranger reality to live. And every other senior I’ve talked to...

Take a Stand against Beauty Standards

Plastic surgery. When’s the last time you saw a celebrity without it? Hard to recall, right? That’s because despite all the abundant health risks...

The Rise of Chappell Roan, The Midwest Princess

     What do lipstick-stained teeth, sparkles, and pink cowgirl hats have in common? Chappell Roan, that’s who.      The increasingly popular singer-songwriter, who’s the vivid alter-ego of...

A Review of the 2024 Prom (From Someone Who Didn’t Go)

     Sparkly dresses, loud music, and… Richard Nixon?       Whether or not you went to this year’s prom, chances are you’ve already heard tons about it. Like,...

Lights, camera… landscaping?

     I’m sure a lot of you have noticed the recently improved landscape area by the front office, but how much do you know about...

A Q&A With Some of Mission Viejo High School’s Retiring Teachers

Mrs. Aldemir: Q: What are some of the most memorable moments of your teaching career? A: Field trips to Olvera Street & Old Town San Diego,...

The Movie of the Millenium: “Foodfight!”

     “You cold-farted itch,” says Foodfight! protagonist Dex Dogtective, who is a dog and a detective, and also the owner of the Copabanana nightclub (voiced...

DEFINITELY OUR LAST ISSUE

     It was around this time last year that The Diablo Dispatch announced its closing. After 589 years, our well-respected publication feared our final defeat.      The...
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